Gulargambone... where you can still double-park a truck in the middle of the main street and no one minds. And yes, you'll still find horse droppings on the main street too. Ladies still cook wonderful cakes, biscuits and slices from scratch. People still have their own orchards and veggie patches. People still wave to you when they see you go by in your car. Gentlemen still tip their hats when they say, "G'day". 

Gulargambone, in amongst the satellite dishes and the modern cars you'll still find a village atmosphere that hasn't changed much since the Fifties. The river may have slightly more sand in it now but kids still play in it. You can still get the best country-style hamburger at the café. 

Now, surprisingly, the pace is a little slower in Gulargambone and you can catch a glimmer of regret in Cap's eyes as he talks about "the good old days".

Cap has watched his town change "drastically" due mainly to the exit of businesses from the town.

"In the 1930s Gulargambone was a thriving town with a four general stores, three hairdressers, two hotels, two bakers, two greengrocers and five billiard tables."

When asked what went wrong Cap replies: "Good roads and fast motor cars.'

From Dubbo Daily Liberal 24/12/99

Forget everything else, on the Easter week-end in 2001, all roads led to the Old Bastards' Club, or Cap's empty shop, where I was stopped at the door by a gentleman who said I could only come in if I told a dirty joke. When I said I didn't know any, the fellow said, "Well, come in. I'll tell you one." Only joking. It's was nice to note that the men still mind their manners when there is a woman around. No dirty jokes or swearing while I was there....

Well, not much anyway. One story I gleaned from Cap was this one when a couple of fellows from the South Coast came in and asked whatever happened to the old Night Cart.  Imagine an old bushie who is in charge of the Night Cart. For those of you too young to remember... in the pre-sewerage days blokes used to come around in the Night Cart to collect the little black buckets of... putrescent excrement... from the outside dunnies.

Well, one day this old bloke, who used to drink a fair bit, was driving his double-decker (top of the range) Night Cart around a corner and into Bourbah Street. The horses were going too fast and he lost control of it and the whole thing tipped over. Well... it was everywhere and all over him too. Everyone raced out to see if he was all right. There he was, grovelling around in it and so they said, "What are you doing?" He said, "I'm lookin' for me overcoat." They say, "Don't worry about it; it'll be no good now." He refuses to come out of the sea of... you know what... and finally in exasperation he says, "Me sandwiches are in the pocket!" I heard this from several sources so I'm sure it is true!

I learnt a lot at the Old Bastards' Club. Cap told me about how when he went to visit my great-grandparents, the Laracys, and how they served cheddar cheese and no one knew what it was. About what a character old Phil Laracy was and what a rogue old Tom King was and about the time when my mother was named Belle of the Ball. We all had skeletons pouring out of the cupboards that week-end and some we shoved in there too, believe me! About all the floods and about how much everything used to cost way back then... 

About the two-up school next to the pub. When I asked, "Only on ANZAC DAY?"...  Everyone said, "Of course!" About how a married man used to receive 7/7½  for the dole... When was that again? About the popular teacher, Miss Luxton, who turned 100 on 30th May, 2001. I remember she visited my father in hospital in Dubbo just after she came back from Gallipoli that time.... There were 4 blokes from Gular in the hospice and she taught them all! They were all so excited, just like little kids again.

About how the kids used to come into Cap's shop to buy comics and slip one inside of the other. I reckon he always knew.... About Sergeant Rettig and that famous hawk he used to carry on his arm. About how the coppers used to meet out discipline with a firm but fair hand. About how one day Cap received a note from a bloke in gaol asking him to bail him out. Cap sent a note back and asked how much it would cost to bail the bloke out... six quid. Cap said that was too much and told the Sergeant to keep the bloke another day and he'd pay four quid.

About Jimmy and the hot dog stand. About selling school books in the shop. About all the Dances and Balls that used to be held in Gular. About how things have changed. About how crime is not too bad in the place, still. About what a showpiece the school is.

As I sat there more and more people dropped by to say "G'day" to Cap. People were sitting all around the room when a woman wandered in off the street. She said, "I'm not from around here. I'm just passing through. What are you all doing here?" Word of warning... never, ever leave yourself open like this to old bushies. Cap started up, "Well," he says, "I owned this shop for a good many years (68, actually), but it came time for me to retire. So, I started thinking what I could do with it. Then I decided to start up a brothel, but I had a devil of a time getting the right permits."... "Really?" says the woman. "Oh yes," says Cap, "I tried and tried.... " The woman is falling for this hook and sinker, even asking questions about the procedures for getting permission to establish a brothel. Everyone around the room is about cackking themselves but Cap remains straight-faced, "Yes." he says, "So in the end I gave up and decided to establish the Old Bastards' Club instead." The woman just didn't get it and at that point I had to leave....

The old café in Bourbah Street still looks pretty good and I'm sure they are the original tiles and counter tops.  I was tempted to ask for ice-cream with chocolate sauce and malt on top but I thought they might think I was a wanker if I did. Still... I can dream and remember...

And what about all those cardboard galahs about the place? Collector's items, I'm sure!  Bourbah Street never looked so gussied up! There is one thing I have to say though... the new pub is not a penny to the old one. The main street still has a Fifties feel about it and it is a real shame the old pub burned down. 

Before I left Gular I told Cap the next Reunion will be when he turns 100 - so start planning everybody! Well, Now I'm told we may not have to wait that long because I believe there is an idea being mooted for another Reunion to be held in five years time. Of course, we'll still have to have a BIG celebration when Cap turns 100....

Gulargambone is the kind of place that has impressed a number of people over the years because of its friendliness. I had an email from a gentleman who, as a young solicitor (lawyer) based in Dubbo in the 1980's, used to stop off in Gulargambone on his way to Coonamble. He says he remembers when there were two banks there and the local telephone exchange used to answer with, "G'day, Gular."!

Bush humour never dies and since this Website has been going a number of people have shared stories with me. One concerned Tom Laracy and his neighbour, Max Douglas, who were always competing with each other to see who could grow the best vegetables. One day Max sent his young some into Tom's to ask if he could borrow a crossbow saw to cut a pumpkin in half. Tom replied that he would gladly lend the saw but at that moment it was jammed in a watermelon!

Heard a good one about two old drovers who were spinning yarns at their campsite. One said that his sheep-dog was so good at herding sheep and cattle he could even coach a chicken back into the egg. The other old bloke pointed to his dog and said his was even better and told about how one time at the end of a drive he was two sheep short so he sent the dog back to look for them. The dog was gone for two days and just on dusk they saw a ball of dust coming towards them and there was the dog riding on the back of one of the sheep and leading the other.

Well... come on now... you all must have some stories... SO, SEND THEM IN! THESE ARE YOUR PAGES!

Hooray!