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What a joke! Now that's funny! Who said that? You ARE kidding! Bored? Who's bored? |
MOUNTAIN MIST PRODUCTIONS Tuesday is NOT BORING Page is slow-loading - set screen to full resolution |
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What a joke! Now that's funny! Who said that? You ARE kidding! Bored? Who's bored? |
MOUNTAIN MIST PRODUCTIONS Tuesday is NOT BORING Page is slow-loading - set screen to full resolution |
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Check out this and other Free E-Greetings at www.1stmistcards.com:
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If Writer's Block is such a serious affliction how come there are so many people BLOGGING???
Just heard on Capricornia radio: It will soon be illegal for Advertisers to tout grapes, mangoes and apples as healthy food due to their higher-than-recommended "natural" sugar content... Eat jelly beans instead. Click on the left button for today's funny:
Click on Return to My Homepage to come back here
from www.jardmail.co.uk
Warning from
Anyone who does not buy her books can expect a visit from The Chainsawman....
Who is he? We're warned not to try and find out...
In the Sixties Peace meant Love. Now it means Politically Correct.
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. - Jerry Seinfeld If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. -Mark Twain THE STRESS DIET - from www.jardmail.co.uk site: This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day. BREAKFAST
1 Grapefruit LUNCH
Small portion lean, steamed chicken with
a cup of spinach AFTERNOON TEA
The rest of the biscuits in the packet DINNER
4 bottles of red wine LATE NIGHT SNACKWhole frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer) DIET RULES1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories 2. When drinking a diet coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the chocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet coke 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do 4. Food used for medical purposes does NOT count (for example: hot chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka) 5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner 6. Cinema related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake (this includes: popcorn, choc tops, maltezers, jaffas and frozen cokes) 7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up causes calorie leakage 8. Food licked from knives and spoons have no fat if you are in the process of cooking something 9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat. Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream, apples and red jelly snakes 10. Chocolate is like a food-colour wild card and may be substituted for any other colour 11. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and the density of the calorie mass 12. Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to his/her plate (oh, how fat likes to cling!) And remember: STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel. -Groucho Marx
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Give an e-book or a print book and support our Mountain Mist Productions Authors CLICK HERE for ALL our Publications
Remember it for great books
A (true) exchange between L P King and a young girl visiting her home one time to ask for some help on the computer:
Girl (Looking at books on bookshelf, finds The Complete Works of William Shakespeare), "Oooooh, big book. Have you read it?" LPK: "As a matter of fact, I have." Girl: "Oh... was it good?"
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If things start to look a bit crook politically-speaking this year, our advice is - TO HELL WITH EVERYTHING, LIVE IT UP... it may be your last chance.
Bookmark this page and come back for a laugh every now and then. |
Poetry is the window to the inner soul.
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. (Murphy's Law)
Why does Boogs stink so much? Read it and find out.
What is the best gift to get your favourite sheila all year round -
The cutest babies in:
Maggie'll help you impress the outlaws with your
Best gift to give someone these days - a bottle of the finest Culture.
What's this about Elvis being alive and in Alaska?
Hey... we weren't always politically correct back in 1969 but we sure had some
The Summit Sci-fi with a difference for Holiday reading
Is the Silly Season all too much for you? Can't cope? Feeling unhappy?
or
Bookmark this Page and check back - Joke RSS and Cartoons changed daily. Other funny stuff as we remember but hopefully at least every Tuesday.
Who said Tuesdays are boring?
Have something funny you'd like to share with us?
Sorry about the different lengths you have to scroll down to get to the bottom of the page - it depends on the length of the RSS stuff which changes daily.
We have no control over the content of the RSS Feeds and we do not necessarily always condone the content - well we do, mostly, but we just have to say that!
No offence ever intended! Lighten up! Laugh a little! |
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He's B-A-C-K...
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I think. So what? - Richard Lee Fulgham
Now don't tell us you didn't do some of the things in this book when you were a kid. But only if you were lucky enough to grow up in a place like the Great Pine Forest in Georgia, that is...
Visit Richard's Page and see more pics and... buy the book while you are there... it is a CLASSIC already!
Our Poets are the coolest!
Gulargambone is so small you can double-park in the main street, do your shopping, have lunch, change your library books and have a yarn to Cap without having to worry.
support Gulargambone - in print in the New Year
A play on words or what?
Rumour has it that Adrian Rogers has been kidnapped by a group of Dr Who fanatics. Time for a new Time journey? Well, at first we thought it was Dr Who fanatics. Turns out to be a tribe of feral ankle-biters who mis-took Adrian for Santa Claus! If anyone finds Adrian please call us because he has three new books to come out soon and he's going to be very, very busy next year.
Writing is a gift with no exchange policy.
To test the cake you first have to eat it.
© 2000-8 Mountain Mist Productions
Sound from: http://www.a1freesoundeffects.com
Animation from
Thanks (we use these freebies occasionally) to: http://www.freebackgrounds.com http://www.strangebreedcartoons.com
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